Malin's got nothing on Cookie, aka "Gangsta Po-Po"

A friend of mine just sent me the link to the video below, apparently an attempt from Swedish showjumping star Malin Baryard Johnsson to jump from the equestrian arena into the world of music with Swedish collective Spånka NKPG.

Umm, I don’t know what to say. Forget that, yes I do: I’m flabbergasted. Gobsmacked. Horrified.

Malin, sweetie, what in the name of heaven were you thinking?? Were you sniffing Absorbine fumes?? Hitting the Brännvin a little too hard?? (Note: I am by no means insinuating that Malin has any substance issues. This is an attempt at humor, for heaven’s sake. Really though, something had to be behind a dubious decision like this!)

I love this woman’s riding, and have enjoyed watching her re-emergence at the top after the retirement of the wonderful Butterfly Flip with her new partner, the Lux Z stallion H&M Tornesch. Her singing, if one can call it that, I’m not a fan of.

At first impression, based on the fashions, I thought this was an ad for her sponsor H&M. I mean really, who mucks a stall wearing all white??? Then the penny dropped — this was no ad. This was supposed to be music!!

Entitled Do You Wanna Ride, it’s got a bit of a dance hall/bad elevator music feel to it. The lyrics are a crack-up: “Do you wanna ride, Do you wanna ride, Do you wanna ride, I love horse.” And who could forget that transcendent line, “Horse are my fetish.”

Oh….my…word. Honestly, I would kill to ride any of her horses, although I’m relatively certain that’s not what the lyrics are really alluding to. I would also love to find a browband like the one on the gray in the beginning of the video.

Malin, I love ya — I’d give my eyeteeth to ride with the style you do. I’d give my firstborn (sorry, Noah) to be able to ride with you.  A word of advice, though: If you wanna sing, do it in the car, preferrably with the windows up. Just saying…

Malin Baryard – Do you wanna ride?