In poetic form. Enjoy: 

Ten Things I Hate About Dressage

I hate your blinged-out brushing boots,

And your precious button braids.

I hate your gorgeous, uphill gaits,

And your near-invisible aids.

I hate your big, dumb flying changes,

Like your horse is reading your mind.

Those perfect white gloves make me so sick, they even make me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

Biomechanics doesn’t lie.

I hate those circles in the sand,

Even worse when they go awry.

I hate it that even your name means I will never reach perfection at all.

But mostly, I hate the way I don’t hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

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