After 4 months, the time is nearing to be able to ride again. Today was the first day of physical therapy, a sure sign it’s just around the corner. Since the evening of the “launch” and the trip to the emergency room, I’ve heard things like, “Maybe you’re too old to do this anymore,” not just from strangers but from my own son, the rider.

Someone recently asked me if I thought I’d be nervous…AHHHH YES!!! Drugs and alcohol might be needed.

New fancy footwear.

New fancy footwear.

I know in my heart and my mind the accident was not any fault of my mare’s. We’ve been together long enough to know this is not her nature. I’ve also ridden horses that were mean and totally capable of sending riders airborn at their will, and she is not like that at all, never has been.

I have been preparing myself for the day I mount again, and since the incident happened right at the mounting block, I know there is where the fear will start. The longer I’ve been off, the more and more I have begun to question myself, will I ever ride again? Can I ever ride again? Should I ever ride again? Golf sounds like fun!! Maybe knitting!

To reaffirm trust in my horse, I’ve had several people ride her this whole time. At first she had huge issues going anywhere near the mounting block but now is back to her old happy self, no worries, she will stand there forever, just waiting. The riders fuss and wiggle and make her stand still until she is asked to move on. I’ve watched this at least 30 times now, another few hundred I should be good.

Once I was able to bear weight on my foot, I began coming to the barn to watch. When possible, I’d sit on the mounting block and watch someone else ride my horse. It wasn’t where I wanted to be this summer, but I have been doing some of my best (in my mind) riding; there on that wooden step. Shoulders back, siting up, tall and strong, elbows bent, hands soft. I might have even gotten a splinter or two from half halting and leg yielding.

Another few weeks and I hope to put my foot in a stirrup and keep the panic at bay.