It’s October, which means blanket season is right around the corner. For some of us, that means the fall show circuits are on the horizon too. But bushy winter coats and the show ring don’t mix.

So it’s time to break out the clippers.

I’ll be the first to admit that I hate to body clip. It’s time consuming and requires a lot of finesse. There’s a lot of bad clip jobs to log before you start getting good at it.

Here are seven reasons why body clipping is the absolute worst:

7. You wear your horse’s hair in places you never thought possible. You know what I’m talking about. An hour into the body clip and you’ve got mini horse hairs in every crevice, down your chest and in your bra, in your pants (how???) and all over your face.

6. One Word: ARMPIT. The dreaded armpit. There is no easy and effective way to clip this floppy, foldable skin crevice. I always hope that the judge doesn’t notice the dark patchy, hairy spots next to my girth.clip-2

5. All it take is one fly and a head toss and !%#$ there goes half the forelock. Seriously. Everything is going fine. You’re almost done with the entire clip job and then this happens.

4. There’s no hiding mess ups. Respect the clip job. You can fake it ’til you make it in a lot of things, but not when body clipping a horse. Respect those working students and grooms out there who are total pros at this. Every horse they touch with a pair of shears look sleek and flawless. They worked hard to be good at this.

3. The twitch is your best friend. This is no time for some dumb duct tape Facebook gimmick. Learn how to use a twitch and never look back.

2. Body clipping is not the time to be cheap. Just buy the damn expensive clippers. You’ll thank me later.

1. When all else fails, wait a couple of weeks and try again. Think of your horse’s furry body as a canvas. Don’t like this month’s version of a clip? Wait a couple of weeks for the hair to grow back and you can try it all over again.

SmartPak - logo_600x100