There are days you just shake your head and wonder where these things come from. Sometimes professionalism flies right out the window, and all you can do is laugh your behind off.

I both give lessons and take lessons. I find instructors have the oddest sayings and it amazes me how sitting on a horse stops the flow if thought process. Not a day goes by without me hearing or having to say “your other left.”

I had a student that every time she went around the corner, the horse would pull the reins out of her hand.

One day, a little more frustrated than I should have been I said to her “stop giving away your reins”, she replied “they’re not my reins, they’re yours”.

I was riding in a group lesson and one of the riders in the group was a high school student, who is getting great grades. The instructor asked her to ride a 20 meter circle on the far end of the arena, and the high school student replied “What kind of circle do you want me to ride? A round circle?” I did not know circles came in different shapes.

Another student was having trouble with her horse being above the bit and racing around the arena, her trainer told her to soften the horse’s face and the student asked “How do I do that? Do I use lotion?” Now every time we see someone riding in a nice collected and controlled frame we call it “Oil of Olaying”

Other fun ones heard…:

  • “Don’t forget to tie the kids up before you feed them”
  • “I didn’t recognize you in clothes”

While reading for one of my mature female students, she stopped dead in the middle of an introductory level test to explained to me and everyone near how her underwear was “ripping the hair out.”

I listened to a mother tell the entire barn in great detail about her daughter contracting worms from her horse, I’m still so embarrassed for this poor girl. I’d have died if my mother told the world I had worms, thank goodness my mother would never have gone into such personal details of what my butt looked like in the process of passing, YES!!! This lady did go there. I have been told several times from my veterinarians that people cannot get worms from horses but (???) Let’s just make sure we wash our hands. OK!!

I recall the first time I wormed a horse. I had a hold of the halter with one had the paste tube in the other but the cap was still on. So I pulled it off with my teeth and got a nice mouth full of wormer. I call the vet and asked what should I do? She said nothing, but I did not need to worry about worms for a long time, that’s when I asked her if I need to worm myself regularly. I took a long while for her to stop laughing. BTW bute tastes worse.

I could write for days, the odd things I hear at the barn. What are some of you favorites?

Cheryl

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