For Sale (Maybe)

After two years and countless tears, fears, near death illnesses and a few joys, I am on the threshold of deciding to sell The Mare. This decision is very difficult to make.

Some people can buy and sell horses, no problem. The trainer at my barn does it all the time, she once told me everything has a “price tag”.  As for me… I’m not so good at this selling thing.

I take the commitment “for life” a bit too seriously and with The Mare this decision is even harder, because she was a rescue in the start.

There is not lameness or illness, she is not spooky or crabby, she never bucks, kicks or bites. We are just not compatible. We take a half step forward, only to tumble 25 steps back.

I ride 4-5 nights a week, the only thing I can focus on is keeping The Mare relaxed and calm. One wrong move and she gets stiff and tense.  She overthinks everything, if we have been trotting nice and soft and relaxed for awhile she suddenly becomes tense in anticipation of something.

I try to pick and choose our battles, but it is a guarantee that we will have several battles each and every time we ride. She believes she should make all the decisions. Like when we are going to canter, and I kind of think I should have control.

She actually had a fit the other night, I could not get her to move out of the corner of the arena. No matter how much leg I used, she stood there huffing and puffing and stomping her feet up and down. All I could do was laugh at her, which seemed to make her even more mad.

The Mare’s most current issue is with any kind of snaffle bit. Every time I put her in one she blows up, head flaying and tossing, nose straight in the air, she believes she cannot bend with one on, you should see our corners.

I’ve changed bits so many times, I think I now own every Dressage legal bit on the market and yes!! Several cost over $200.00. Nothing makes her happy. She is fine in a western low port correction bit. I’m a dressage girl…She likes the big movements’ appropriate for dressage, not the small movements for western pleasure.

Although I’m quick to blame everything on myself after two years of trying to improve “me” so to make The Mare happy, I began riding other horses. I’ve been riding for over 30 years and as I realized I was successful on other horses.

I thought something might be bothering the mare. I had the vet out twice, two equine dentists, massage therapist and chiropractor. The vet found nothing, the equine dentist found only normal and floated her teeth. The Mare did not like the chiropractor but tolerated the massage therapist.

Now the real kick in the face is that I have had several other people ride her, and she is awesome. I cannot get out of walk/trot and my son, who has only ridden her once before, jumped on her at the last show and successfully rode a first level test. It has to be me.

As I cry my way home most nights of the week, I tell myself she would better off with someone else, but who would want her.

I tell myself I cannot sell her until I find a new horse. I’ve been shopping for a second more advanced horse for two years now. The trainer at my barn told me last night she’d have gotten rid of her a long time ago.

I tell myself, I made a commitment to her, now what do I do?