From the very special mare, Kahlua Figures:

My plan to remain in my stall glued to my human’s laptop for the entire 12 days of Olympic equestrian events had been foiled. The human had her own personal Olympics in her mind thing going on and forced me to participate.

As the first Eventing dressage rider in the Olympics A X halt saluted down center line at the Greenwich arena, I too was entertaining the masses with my personal imitation of Rafalca, only mom’s behind is much larger than Jan’s or for that matter the entire USA equestrian team combined. Now mind you, I do not understand the time zone thing so I was going down center line the same time as an Olympic rider was . .

For us it was a glorious moment as I entered the Black Star arena, located on the wine peninsula of Northern Michigan, equal in beauty to Greenwich just a little more affordable. My human was dressed cleanly and smartly, minus the large green snot mark on the left side of her breeches ~ sorry, allergies. Nonetheless, I was kind of proud of her.

I swirled right on down that center line, tossing in lots of fancy foot moves, which I had kept secret from my human ’cause I know she’d make me practice them over and over. I threw my head staring up and popped my hip 90 degrees to the north as we came to a stop somewhere between the blue tent and Z. I keep trying to tell the human this dressage thing is all about attitude not precision.

I could tell everyone was impressed, you could cut the silence surrounding the arena with a hoof pick and all eyes were on me. Just like Steffen Peters and Ravel.

Then our dang trainer ruined my moment by shouting something about track something at C.

I could feel the energy in my human’s seat so I moved us on toward the blue tent, more fancy foot work and lovely pivot at the blue tent.

I don’t think my human studied this test well, I felt pressure on my left side like she wanted to go deep in the corner when I know we should stand in front of the person sitting in the blue tent and dance until I got a treat.

Oh well if she screws this up it’s on her not me I’m giving it my all.

We moved deep, real deep in the corner, did that flower box really need to be there, then down the long side.

Circle… “boring”

Free walk, no one can see my face “boring”…

More circles… boring.

I had to liven it up we were losing the crowd’s attention.

So I tossed in a few fancy steps.

I had been reading about those “airs above the ground” and just as we started to head down center line again I thought I’d toss in one of those levades, with perfect timing and skill we landed somewhere near X and the blue tent.

Upon exiting the arena, our trainer suggested to mom that she should just give me to Stephen Colbert.

I knew I did good!!

Kahlua, aka the Mare

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