Memorizing the right test! ~ photo by Britney Hensman

Memorizing the right test can be a challenge! ~ photo B. Hensman

Firstly, apologies for the lack of blogs but I forgot my password to access my old PC after my current one died a slow and painful (to me) death; but mentioning this was rather apt considering the subject of this post!

I seem to have lost my inner GPS in every discipline. Even when hacking recently… in the woods I’ve gone through thousands of times, I still managed to steer my chap into a dead end!

I’m starting to realize now why I preferred show jumping as a child. You are normally enclosed within an arena. As long as you can count up to a certain number correctly, you’re sorted. Provided your breaks work well, you can stop your horse instantly, look around the arena and find your next jump without crossing your path! Although this theory seemed to fail as the classes got bigger and trickier. Having to turn left rather than right mid-course was just too much for my brain to grasp,  especially if they removed a fence from the arena for a jump off. Now, that’s just trying to purposely throw me!

I seem to struggle from centreline-itus on a regular basis. The 50/50 choice between turning left and right is sometimes just too much. Give me serpentines, loop and rein backs any day over approaching a judge’s car head on. It wouldn’t surprise me that one day we didn’t turn. After all, doesn’t every horse lover want hoof prints on their car? I’m sure that move would win us some extra marks!

I also have a great ability of learning the wrong dressage test for the class I’ve entered. On hindsight, two-time changes and piaffe did seem a little advanced for a introductory test, but who am I to judge… You just have to go with the flow!

Maybe I should carry one of these around at all times!

Maybe I should carry one of these around at all times!

One of my finest moments had to be during the XC a few years ago, when I somehow managed to get on the wrong side of the wire (a rare skill!). When I backtracked, I was unable to get on the proper side of the course. It became a bit of a mystery to the stewards, who in the end, had to dismantle the fence to get me through. Luckily, this act didn’t cost me in jumping penalties but the time penalties I achieved were probably more than all the time penalties achieved from all the competitors in my section combined!

My latest ability now is to ignore fences, even though I’ve walked the course several time beforehand. To me, if a fence has a ‘A’ next to the number, the ‘A’ does not stand for part 1 of a multiple jump…oh no, the ‘A’ stands for applaud. As in… if you clear this jump, give yourself a pat on the back, which will then make you miss ‘B’ which stands for the bleeping you’ll be doing as you fly by!

Some would say my moments of distraction are down to nerves. Personally I put it down to head farts or a secret desire to really be blonde. Until a solution is found I guess I’ll continue to get lost, go the wrong way and live in my happy Horse Junkie world which is all pink, blingy and rosey……Pony has no choice other than to join in with me! After all, I’m the lady with the feed.

Until next time, which this time will hopefully be sooner rather than later.

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