I am so very jealous of you kind readers and my fellow bloggers who appear to have no problems taking holiday photos of your animals. I am not that lucky. Not with the dogs, and definitely not with the horses…so if you are like me and struggle to take a photo worthy of a Christmas card, here are my instructions for obtaining that elusive photo.
Supplies Needed: One Santa hat, One pound of peppermints – wrappers removed, One camera, Infinite patience.
Step One, Day One – Locate the Santa hat. If you are anything like me, you stuffed it into a box/bag/tack box after Christmas last year and swore that you would remember where you put it. Ha ha. Finally find said Santa hat and realize that it is now too dark outside for photos. Put Santa hat back in tack box for another day.
Step One, Day Two – Arrive at barn earlier prepared to take photos. Remove wrappers from the peppermints and stuff them into your pocket. Grab Santa hat and camera and head out to retrieve horse.
Step Two, Day Two- Give horse a peppermint to gain trust. Show Santa hat to horse.
Step Three, Day Two – Let horse grab hat. Watch Santa hat fall into the mud.
Step Four, Day Two – Retrieve hat from mud. Mutter expletives under breath while trying to clean Santa hat and spy horse passing judgment on this holiday activity.
Step Five, Day Two – Attempt to place Santa hat on horse’s head with one hand while holding camera with the other. Horse transforms into a giraffe. Growl at horse and wish you had a third hand to grab a peppermint from your pocket.
Step Six, Day Two – Put Santa hat and camera in one hand and grab a peppermint with the other. Get horse to lower head by offering peppermint and quickly shuffle hat into the same hand for second attempt at placing over horse’s ear. Hat falls to ground. Return to barn defeated.
Step One, Day Three – Reach into pocket and remove one large sticky, lint-covered glob of peppermints that you forgot were there. Remove wrappers from new handful of mints and retrieve horse. Groom and tack horse. Grab Santa hat and camera and bring horse outside.
Step Two, Day Three – Attempt to place Santa hat on horse’s head; the giraffe returns. Bribe horse with a large handful of mints and sneak Santa hat over ear.
Step Three, Day Three – Quickly grab camera and ask horse to look at you. Horse blatantly ignores your request. Take a photo anyway.
Step Four, Day Three – Pick Santa hat up from ground when horse flicks ear. Give up any further photo attempts in order to ride. Give horse remaining mints to prevent further pocket stickiness. Remind yourself to wash your jacket.
Step One, Day Four – Wear dirty jacket to barn. Place mints in other pocket since the first pocket is now stuck closed.
Step Two, Day Four – Groom horse and put saddle on.
Step Three, Day Four – Grab bridle and Santa hat in one hand. Place 10 mints in the other hand. While horse is munching, sneak bit into mouth and Santa hat on ear under the bridle.
Step Four, Day Four – Squeal with excitement that the Santa hat is on horse’s head.
Step Five, Day Four – Grab camera and walk outside with horse. When horse is distracted by a bird, take photos as quickly as possible praying that one is blog worthy.
Step Six, Day Four – Put camera away and ride horse while he is wearing Santa hat and you wear a silly grin.
Step Seven, Day Four – Give horse big hug and remaining peppermints and thank him for not killing you.