Mark Twain is credited with stating that the only things that are certain in life are death and taxes. Well, no disrespect to Mr. Twain, but we equestrians know that when you own and ride horses, that there are other things that we know for certain:
1) Your horse will lose a shoe right after the farrier leaves or the day before your big show.
2) The worst injuries and emergencies always occur on holidays, over the weekend, or after 10:00 at night.
3) The more expensive the medication, the more likely you are to need it.
4) You will fall off…so don’t be too proud or arrogant and wear a helmet. Your head will thank you.
5) Your foot will eventually meet the underside of your horse’s hoof, so always wear the appropriate footwear at the barn. Flip flops are never appropriate.
6) Nothing from your first horse will fit your next horse. I speak from experience.
7) Admire your new white pad or breeches at home because as soon as they arrive at the barn, they will never look that clean ever again.
8) You will not die if you eat your lunch right after mucking stalls even if you do not wash your hands first. Sorry Mom.
9) Your horse will always manage to find the one loose nail on the fence in the paddock; you will never find it.
10) You will be pooped on at some point.
11) Training horses is two steps forward and three steps back.
12) Shortcuts in your training will only get you so far. Take the time to do things correctly.
13) Horses can count and do fractions. Ike knows when he only gets half his grain or when I only give him three of the four treats in my pocket.
14) Your horse will always know when the hot wire is not working. Cigar is a master hot wire tester.
15) Most scary things are invisible.
16) Bailing twine is as handy as duct tape.
17) Vet bills are never under $100. If yours are, could you please share your vet’s phone number?
18) Your horse will mysteriously go lame the day after the show closes and there are no refunds given.
19) Horses are the best at keeping your secrets – like how much that saddle really cost or where you hid grandma’s silver.
20) Nothing improves a bad day like the sound of a nicker or the smell of the barn.