HJU reader Lexi Campbell sent us this blog post about lifestyle decisions she has to make. Can you help her out?
At A Crossroads
Right now I am sitting here drenched after the morning’s discouraging lesson. I am not sure if I am more upset that I could not find the right communication skills going down a 6, no 7, no wait 5 stride line (it was a 6). Or am I discouraged because I feel my trainer was more interested in his breakfast than me and my crazy red headed TB? I am also struggling with my love for art, tattoos, and crazy hair vs a professional job that can support my horse and my drive to get in the closest show ring. Thank god for my fiancé, without him I probably would have started digging a hole and gave up on it all. So where do I go from here?
My first choice is to continue as a freelance artist, helping to build a new family business and teaching riding lessons at night. I love the choice of riding whenever the temperature is right or it is overcast to help with my horse’s lack of eyesight in her right eye. I love having the option of being able to take my time with work or rush to get it done. To do that work from my horses stall, bed, coffee shop, or like now, perched on top of a tack trunk. I do like this stress-free life. But… I do not like the lack of money and never having the money to horse show.
Now on to the second, more grown up, choice. I can continue to hunt for jobs, filling out application after application, shoving my portfolio into everyone’s face, and hope and pray, cross my fingers and toes for someone to schedule an interview at a big 9-5 company. If the miracle happens, if I get a grown up job with a steady income, will I truly like it? Will I like the 9-5 job, rushing to the barn to get on my horse before the sun goes down. I am sure my bank account will really like this new life. My fridge will like it even more. I could horse show during allowed time off. I could actually work only one job, have weekends and evenings off and to myself. Be a full paying boarder who gets taken seriously.
Maybe I can have both? Hide my tattoos under a fashionable long sleeve, maybe they won’t mind a streak of pink or purple. Riding at sunset can’t be so bad, maybe I can come out twice a day, before and after work to make up for lost time? I really do want to show as much as I can without breaking the bank. I really do only want to work one job. Can I have both? I guess I should keep applying to jobs and hope I find a big edgy 9-5 company. Fingers crossed!