Sorry it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. In the past I’ve relied upon the Mother human to relay stories of my activities with her spawn, but she’s been rather busy lately so I’ve decided to take things into my own hooves.
We’ve had a good winter – Sophie (my girl) and Noah (my boy) were working hard and improving. We continued to have fun together. Sometimes instead of riding they just played with me in the indoor arena, running around with me and leading me through obstacle courses, which was fun. Sometimes when it was too cold to ride they just groomed me, clipped me, or did what they call a “Spa Day.”
Now that the weather has gotten nicer we get to come out of the ring and play outside. I like trail rides a lot, but I’m not a huge fan of our outdoor ring. Others may disagree, but I swear dragons and trolls run rampant in that place! Mom and I went out there the other day, and yeah, it was a bit brisk and there was a breeze, and it was the first time we’d been outside, so I was feeling pretty happy.
As we walked down the wooded path to the ring, I swear I saw a troll come out from under a pile of leaves, and I bolted forward to get us out of harm’s way. You’d think Mom would have been happy that I saved our bacon, but oddly enough she was less than thrilled. She put me into a shoulder-in and said”That’s not a troll, you jackass, it’s a squirrel!” I feel a simple thank you would have been more in order.
We passed through the rest of Troll Path unscathed and entered the outdoor. There were some new jumps in there, so I felt the need to go over and investigate, as it’s common knowledge that pixies inhabit jump standards and will jump out and bite you at any opportunity. I snorted loudly at the standards to scare away any pixies that may have been hiding there, and just to be on the safe side I snorted the next several times we passed in order to discourage them from returning. Mom called me a boob and made me shoulder-in past it in both directions.
I could not understand why Mom was not impressed by my diligent attention to our safety. For example, when when approached the mounting block I very clearly saw a dragon hiding behind it, waiting to pounce. I did everything I could to convince mom it was not safe to advance: I snorted, side passed, planted myself and then reversed field rapidly. “James, you eejit, that’s no dragon. That’s a chihuahua!” We did a shoulder-in past the mounting block in both directions.
I was starting to notice a pattern.
Mom remained calm and chatted to me the entire time we rode, telling me that we were safe and there were no horse-eating beasties about and if by some chance they appeared she said she’d take care of me. She told me I was a brave boy when I managed to control my fear and pass whatever demon I saw. She babbled on to the point where finally I relaxed and began to believe that either she was supremely confident in her dragon fighting abilities, or she was dumber than box of rocks and completely oblivious to her surroundings. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and put my mind to the job at hand, but I remained ever vigilant just in case she was wrong.
Thankfully we finished our session without incident and returned to the barn unscathed and ready to fight another day. Mom gave me a carrot and a mint for overcoming my anxieties and bravely facing down my demons. I know she was patronizing me, but I can overlook that because of the treats. She put me back in my stall with my hay and I heaved a sigh of relief, thankful the ordeals of the day were done.