Ode to the barn owner

Ode to the barn owner

We are out there in droves, owning horses and driving people nuts.

The Older lady, whose kids are grown,

The woman who has mastered the talent to handle a million life issues all at the same time,

Now owns a horse and has found “time for herself”

We have experience knowing when our babies are not “themselves”,

Have sat up all night with chicken pox, temps and flus.

We battled the morons in the business world,

Tackled the enemy at the retail stores and scored the best sales.

All of these skills and many more

Have qualified us to be the “better Horseperson”

Please understand … we are not Know It All’s

But we are just hard-wired to be in control.

Take no offense when on Monday we ask;

“What have you been feeding her? She pooped seven times in my lesson”

Then on Tuesday we complain;

“What have you been feeding her? She’s not pooping like she usually does.”

Armed with the internet and information overload,

We are fully equipped and ready to do better for our ponies.

Most of us are secure in our jobs

Able to do in a few hours what takes others all day.

Giving us more time to research, chat and join blogs.

So no worries; we will gladly tell you what we learned and just how wrong you are doing everything.

We’ve bought potions, lotions, sprays and wipes.

We’ve even laminated a chart.

Our horses’ have clothing, boots, ear protection and more.

Details on what to put on them hang on the stall door.

Forget how many years of experience you have

Or how much time you have spent with our horses

While we are out earning our pony’s keep!

Forget how much my stallmates beckon at you while you tend to my needs.

No matter to how many other horses you have to drag in and out,

Our horses must be handled just right, right now,

And with strict adherence to the schematic you were provided.

Or else all of our grace, composure and eloquence go out the paddock gate

And you will see the “Little Girl” in each of us

Throw ourselves on the stable floor screaming,


Hail to Thee.. Barn Owner’s and Barn Managers!

God hath granted you the patience of a Saint.

Frankly, had I been you, I would have spanked my a$$ and sent me home!