Lately here at Horse Junkies Headquarters we’ve been getting the sense that Facebook is trying to tell us something.
At first it was just confusing.
But now we get it. Equestrians may be introverts, but everyone wants to date them. We decided to create a guide for the man or woman trying to woo the kind of person who already has someone to spend all of their time and money on.
Respect their space. Don’t sneak up on an equestrian introvert, or make any sudden movements. They could get spooked, and you don’t want to mess with someone who can take on a thousand-pound animal.
Equestrian introverts love a good listener. Because the only time they really speak up is when they tell you the play-by-play of their most recent ride. They’ll listen to you too, but don’t be offended if they’re scrolling through horse photo after horse photo on Instagram. This is a coping mechanism for non-equine topics.
Equestrian introverts need alone time to recharge. Like, A LOT of alone time. With a horse. No, you’re not invited, unless you want to set jumps or do barn chores. And even then, we really prefer that you be seen and not heard.
Know that equestrian introverts actually do like people…as long as they’re horse people. They find everyone else really boring.
Buy the equestrian introvert a saddle that fits. Actually, this goes for any equestrian. Believe me, it will improve your relationship.
Texting may be the best way to get a response from the equestrian introvert. Equestrian introverts need time to process their feelings before coming up with a response. Also, it’s hard to talk on the phone while riding or picking out a stall. Get used to exchanges filtered through Siri and Autocorrect.
You may suspect your equestrian introvert is cheating… because they are. A “long day at the office” or “early meeting” is just code for stolen moments with their equine partner.
But can you really blame them? They do make a great looking pair…