Oh, I know. You gotta make a list of all the things you want to do this year. Well, I have a list but it is sort of a list of what I don’t want to do in the coming year.

I don’t want to fall off – the last loss of vertical order cost me and my insurance company about $35,000. My groom box now has sticky spray, sticky wipe, sticky gloves, sticky goop for saddle, sticky stirrups, sticky neckstrap, sticky lipstick…you get the picture.

I don’t want to become a partner in my vet’s practice – here’s hoping the horses keep  their Self-Destruct tendencies down to a minimum. However I pay enough now that the office manager has a file on her computer with my name on it. And it’s on her shortcuts.

I don’t want to get sunburned, exhausted, starve to death, die of thirst, and/or waste any more of my precious minutes of life by arguing with a crazy parent over whether or not their daughter’s sour nappy horse stepped back at the downbank this year, so I’m keeping my volunteering to jump judge at events down to a few favorites.

Most of all I want my horses to maintain the shoes I buy for them on their hooves at all times. This means I will go without new shoes myself, and new clothes, new dishwasher, and keep the heat lowered in the house in order to pay for my farrier’s services. I have a sweater. I will wear it.

I don’t want to make life interesting by trying to manage too many horse shows this year; I lost approximately one months’ worth of sleep last year doing only three. If I do more than that I might not sleep all summer. I love coffee, but there is a limit to how well I can function on six cups of Starbucks Pike and no sleep.

I need to find a way to be comfortable in the new saddle and keep the old saddle from falling apart before the season ends. I need to find some time to keep the tack conditioned and cleaned. Is there a way to do this? How does one add a 25th hour to the day?

I vow to make it at least to the second event on the calendar before blowing the season this year.

And finally I need to find that Miracle Belly Fat Cure. I know I saw it somewhere, advertised in the Facebook feed, late one night while I sat, discouraged, looking at the bare bottom of the ice cream carton. If I find it, I will let everyone know how it works. Cause I need it. Between my broken knee, six months on crutches, and too much time in the kitchen, I upgraded my overweight status and am now on Defcon Two. Project Weight Loss is now underway!