I have come to the realization that my mare might be the Regina George of the horse world.

Since the start of summer turn-out, The Mare has had several turn-out buddies, which have all ended with the turn-out groups being rearranged until my horse is out by herself.

My innocent-looking, people-loving pony has embodied the blonde, back-stabbing, and demanding clique-leader. 

The Mare … How do I begin to explain The Mare?
The Mare is flawless.
She has two Equifit boots and a silver Ogilvy.
I hear her mane’s insured for $10,000.
I hear she does trailer commercials … in Japan.
Her favorite movie is Flicka.
One time she met John Madden on a plane … and he told her she was pretty.
One time she kicked me in the face … it was awesome.

Yup, the parallels are uncanny.

Every time a new horse is introduced into her field, The Mare goes from:


In about 0.025 seconds.

The last addition to the field lasted all of three nights before the owner requested her turnout be changed.  But for whatever reason, all the mares that mine likes to beat up on the most want to be her best friend.  Even amid squeals and double-barrel kicks, as soon as I go to get The Mare from the field, they come running after her, and call to her, and The Mare is just like:

I’ve watched my Mare after she gets new friends, and they literally don’t do anything before mine is sidling up to them for a swift kick, much like Regina goes after her clique for simply trying to make fetch happen.

And whenever I try to remind The Mare that she needs to be nice to her fieldmates she just looks at me like:

Each time she’s ended up in the field by herself, she comes RUNNING to the gate when I go to get her in a panicked state like she’s surprised to find herself all alone or something after beating up on her latest victim.

I’m sure one of these days we’ll find the turnout group that fits The Mare well, but for now, I’m stuck lecturing my horse about being nice to her friends and trying to make up to the owners of the horses that my horse has kicked like:

while The Mare is just like:

All images/GIFs found at giphy.com