January 1 is an interesting day. On one hand, the opportunities for starting over seem endless. If I start today: I can only drink one cup of coffee, I can drink more water, I can start running for an entire year! Yet, it’s something of a dark tundra in Massachusetts. Nothing about today says “fresh beginning”. Instead it says, “Go on, hibernate under your three comforters and give it another shot in a few months.”
Yet, here I am, still trying to focus on what I want to be better about this year:
Set better boundaries. I’ve been told multiple times, by multiple people, that my schedule isn’t normal. I stretch myself across as many opportunities as I can. I’m a hoarder of experiences. I’m also somewhat of a hustler. You want a lesson at 6 PM and it’s -9 F? Sure, I’ll be there. This sport isn’t cheap. I’m still in my early twenties, so I’m not ready to resolve to “get better at saying no” to opportunities that come by. I just want to be clearer about the boundaries I set between my different commitments. In 2017, I found no one, not even me, can avail myself to everyone for everything 24/7.
Don’t look over my shoulder. Last year I found myself for the first time authentically going down the rabbit hole of despair. Look at everything I’ve failed to accomplish, isn’t it practically broadcasted world to see? Look at so-and-so, she has everything, including the success and notoriety, I wish I could have. Isn’t everyone, even the bank teller and sweet boarder, over there silently judging my incompetence? First of all, this is most likely not even the case. But the world of social media has allowed me to go to those dark places. In 2018, I will let social media be the networking tool I need, and I won’t let it get me down.
“Accept the things I cannot change” and have the “courage to change the things I can.” Last year I improved on figuring out how to keep control over the parts of life that are manageable: the goodness and deliciousness of the food I eat, the amount of time I spend with friends, the cleanliness of my room, the house, the dishes. Now I need to simply accept there are some things I just can’t change. No, I won’t be moving across the world tomorrow or even in the foreseeable future. No, I won’t be running around Kentucky CCI**** (five star?) this spring. But that’s ok, I can still make a good life where I am now.