No one puts on a pair of pants that makes them feel ugly, but when you open your drawer and eye the various breeches, each one plays a distinct role in your wardrobe. If you were to analyze the contents of a rider’s closet you could categorize breeches into four different classifications:
1. The “I feel like a beached whale, today” breeches: These are your most stretchy, oldest, and stained with hoof dressing oil and thrush-x breeches. You have been through a lot together. Their practically sweat pants with knee patches, but by golly you feel snug and safe in these breeches. Each time you go to donate the old pieces of clothing, you just can’t let these go. They’re so much more than clothing, they’re your friend.
2. The “Maybe I’ll pass for a professional” breeches: You wear these to not only look the part, but feel it too! Not that clothes make the rider, but you spent extra $ on these suckers and you fee Kentucky 3day legit in them!
3. The “It matches 94% of my t-shirts” breeches: Next to your “beached whale” breeches these guys get a lot of riding time. Just about everything matches them and they are still socially acceptable if you need to swing by the grocery store after the barn. They also happily make your butt look good, so if you run into an ex at said grocery store there is no harm done.
4. The “Don’t pull these out of the dry cleaning bag until 2 minutes before I go in the ring” breeches: The holy grail of breeches. Your show day breeches. Also known as, “I have no clue where that stain came from” breeches, because let’s face it we have all wondered if they have been manufactured to spontaneously stain so that you have to buy a second pair. Coincidence or shrewd marketing scheme?