*Disclaimer* I have NO idea what I’m talking about and this is not meant to give any sound advice for how to navigate the Land Rover Kentucky Three-Day Event.

That being said, my friends and I took a road trip from NJ to Lexington to experience our first ever Land Rover Three-Day Event. To say it was an experience to remember is an understatement. So here are my amateur tips for how to navigate this massive event next year.

1. Bring a backpack. Bring enough clothes to help you survive whatever weather fluctuations Mother Nature may throw at you while you’re out there. Don’t expect to be able to use that backpack for anything else, because you’re going to basically pack a three-day weekend worth of layers in there. Also bring water.

2. Tell your family and friends that Christmas isn’t happening this year, or birthdays, or any gift-giving holidays, really. Because you spent all of your money on random stuff at Land Rover.

3. Using an Uber or Lyft to and from your hotel is actually super convenient as they drop you off and pick you up right at the entrance of the park. HOWEVER, don’t expect to easily be able to get one of them to pick you up after the event because the poor cell towers are sobbing from thousands and thousands of people doing the same exact thing.

4. I strongly suggest dehydrating yourself on XC day if you plan to be out on course following the riders. If you decide to not do so, don’t come whining to me when you realize you’re miles on foot from the nearest bathroom and the closest porta-potty has a line 100 people deep.

Actually, drink the Bloody Mary’s. They’re delicious.

5. If you make your way to the Head of the Lake, sacrifice a few minutes to use the bathroom in the Grandstand before XC ends and a mob of full bladders attached to alcohol drenched humans start running for the bathrooms. This is also a good time to get food if you’re hungry.

6. WATERPROOF BOOTS.

7. A Bloody Mary and Bourbon Chicken makes an interesting but effective late breakfast if you’re dumb like me and don’t realize the cafes that have actual breakfast food are open.

8. You’re not going to be able to find the people you promised to meet up with, and again, your cell phone isn’t going to be able to find them either. If you want to meet up with your internet horse friends, make plans in advance for a time and place.

9. Stay in a hotel with a hot tub. Your legs/feet will thank you after walking 800 miles a day.

10. Make a plan, because otherwise you’re going to be sucked into shopping and suddenly wonder how you missed Dressage and why you have 600 bags, a new helmet, a pony, and Dubarry boots that you didn’t need.

11. There is a tent where you can check your purchases for a small donation so that you don’t have to carry them around all day. FIND THAT TENT!

In all seriousness (although in hindsight most of the advice I gave you really did save our butts), it truly is the #bestweekendallyear. My friends and I had so much fun and the weekend just flew by. If you ever get the chance to go, I suggest you take it.